Seizure free.....

It has been over a year since my last seizure. It is a great feeling to know that my seizures are controlled by medication. I have my freedom....I can drive. But..... Is it really freedom? I have been asking myself this question over the past few months. While I am very happy that I am able to drive and perform my duties as a child welfare worker, I live in fear every day. I know that one seizure, no matter how "big" or "small" (for lack of better words), would result in loss of my license in the state of Oklahoma. When I am sitting at my desk and I realized some time has gone by that I do not remember, I pray no one noticed. Having a seizure is scary but not knowing when the next seizure will hit you is even scarier. I truely believe it is important to live life to the fullest. However, it is sometimes hard to control the fear of the unknown. It is perfectly normal to be afraid of not knowing what tomorrow holds. But not knowing when a seizure will occur is a fear that can not be explained with words. I know of other people who have been diagnosed with epilepsy. Not everyone's experience with epilepsy is the same because there are many different types of seizures. I fear loss of my license, loss of my freedom, loss of my ability to perform the duties of my job, loss of my career, and, most of all, I fear death. I will not let this fear control me though. I will live on despite my fears. I am living with epilepsy. Yes.....I am living.