I did not get my answer Monday like I was hoping. Right before the appointment, my neurologist's office called to reschedule. I felt this great sense of disappointment then a great deal of fear. It was very emotional. I felt like crying but instead my lip quivered and then I pulled myself back together.
It is frustrating...waiting to know one's fate. One one hand, I love my job and want to continue to grow in my current field. On the other hand, I miss Colorado. I miss my friends, my family, and those beautiful mountains. I miss knowing I can decide I want to ski and just go. No pre-planning required.....just put my equipment in the car and go.
I do not know what is going to happen though. And as frustrating as this whole process is, I can not let it interfere with living my life. I can not let it determine my fate. I see it this way. If I lose my job due to my diagnosis then it just was not meant to be. Maybe there is another plan for me. I am anxious to know what exactly that plan is but until then I am going to make the best of each day. THAT is something I have control over.
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